My fiancée and I have chosen a destinationlike wedding. The location requires a ferry ride to an island. We had not intended to pay for our guests’ ferry rides (it is simply not in our financial ability), but the boat is owned by the restaurant. When placing our down payment on the restaurant/location, we also had to pay upfront for all seats on the ferry.  

We have asked the restaurant/ferry ticketing office if our guests can still coordinate their ferry ticket payment through the office (to be applied as a credit to our final bill), but we are waiting to hear if that is an option.

If the ticketing office is not able to coordinate the guests’ payments, is there a tactful way to ask the guests to reimburse us directly for the prepaid tickets? Or is there a means of establishing a third-party payment system for these tickets so that it doesn’t seem like we’re looking for handouts?

K. and M.

Hosts of a wedding or any other event cannot ask guests to reimburse them directly for any of the costs involved in the event. It is unclear to me if the ferry is used solely to access the restaurant, or if the ferry serves the entire island and the ferry owner happens to also own the restaurant. It makes a difference in deciding how to approach your problem.

Typically, wedding guests pay for their own transportation, even to a destination wedding. If the ferry is used to access the island, not only the restaurant, that would apply here. Guests would pay the fare when they board the ferry or pay ahead online or by phone. Since you have prepaid, the restaurant should apply that money to your bill and no one is the wiser. If the restaurant will do this, it would be a good idea to post the cost of the ferry ride on your Web site along with any other travel information guests might need to know. The same is true if you are mailing travel information to guests.

It is unfortunate that the restaurant required you to pay for your guests’ transportation upfront. If the restaurant will make no accommodation to collect fares and credit your bill, then you have no choice but to foot the transportation bill and limit your spending in other ways. You could cut back on the number of guests or cut back on the amount or type of food or alcohol being served. It’s very possible that if the restaurant sees that its lack of cooperation will mean a loss of revenue, it may come around and be more accommodating.

On the other hand, if the ferry just serves the restaurant — and there is no other way to reach it — then the ferry cost is an integral part of the cost of the location. As the hosts, it is incumbent upon you to pay for the tickets. It’s unfortunate you weren’t told that you would have to prepay this “access fee” when you booked the restaurant. Since it is probably too late to book another place, consider the same options as above to keep to your budget and either limit your guest list or find savings in the menu or beverage service.

Source: NY Times